Heroes / Limits

~Heroes~

It was sometime around the year 2000, 6 years or so removed from my parents' divorce (when I was maybe four years old). My brother lived with my father full-time because he refused to live with my mother. They could never get along. I alternated houses/parents every other week, living with my mother and then my father. My brother took his apparent resentment out on me, so much so that I eventually would see a counselor. When I wasn't in school, I was in "day-care" most of the time. I don't like that term as it makes me sound like an infant, but that's what it was. My mother was in an unhealthy relationship and had a drinking problem.

My best friend spent the night that night. I'm sure we played video games and maybe watched a movie before falling asleep on the foldout couch. I'm sure we told ourselves we were going to stay up all night, but probably fell asleep by 10:30 or 11.

A few hours later, I woke up to a scene I still don't understand nearly 20 years later; my brother was shaking my shoulder as if to wake me up- just like in any movie you've probably seen. In a half-sleep stupor, I looked around trying to process what in the world was going on. Was my friend hurt? Was my brother off the rails - here to beat me up in the middle of the night just for the fun of it?

We were in the basement, of which had one window. I could see, very faintly, flashing lights bouncing off of the lightless, newly painted walls - making its way from outside. My immediate thought was that the lights were from my brother's truck - maybe he had parked and left his blinker on. But that wasn't the case.

"Wake up, wake up. Mom tried to kill herself," he said. I knew he hated her so I didn't necessarily believe him fully. And then it clicked. The flashing lights were that of an ambulance. I felt kind of numb, it felt like a dream. For whatever reason, I think it took us a good 20 minutes to get our stuff together and actually leave. By the time we left the house, the ambulance was gone and I didn't see my mother at all.

My brother, myself, and my friend drove to my father's house where we all slept it off. Well, that is, everyone but me. What was I to think? Here we are, not even in the hospital with her. Is she dead? My friend didn't say anything -  what could he really say to me? I was always the mature one between us anyway. I stared at the television all night. It was probably a mix of cartoons and infomercials, who knows.

When morning came, my friend went back home and I stayed at my father's for at least the rest of the week. No one even talked about it. Eventually, we went back to our normal schedule and I went to my mother's again and I actually had to be the one to bring it up in conversation. I didn't know if the overdose was accidental or intentional or anything. What was I even supposed to say at 10 years old?

Of course, there's more to this story; my story - but it's all you need to know. Why? Because it is what pushed me into baseball.

I needed a hero. I needed something...anything to invest myself in. To generalize, some people out there are "stat-heads", some people have a passive interest in baseball, and some are just athletically-minded people, and so forth.

I started going outside every day weather permitted me to and I would throw the ball against the wall. Like a dog, I'd go in the backyard and throw the ball as high as I could into the air, catch it, and repeat. I could easily do this for 3-6 hours on any given day.

As holidays neared, I asked for things like a bouncy net that I could pitch or throw against and field my throws. Or what I believe was called, "Hit Around", in which a ball was attached to a rubber rope and you would adhere it to the pole of a basketball goal. Once hit, the rope would wrap itself up around the pole and the force would cause the rope to unravel again and the ball would come around as if you were in the batter's box swinging at a pitch. Repeat.

If I was indoors, I would be watching the Cubs on WGN or the Cardinals - whichever game was available in Southern Illinois, really. Even then, I would be throwing a tennis ball against the base of the couch or I would find the hard part of a wall and gently bounce it off of it, or even just gently into the air as I'd lie down on the bed.

I was very shy and it took a lot of encouragement, but I eventually joined a recreational league. I needed a hero and, for that period of my life, baseball saved me.

~Limits~

Fast forward back to present-time 2019...

 

Last week, I was approached in a fantasy baseball oriented Facebook group I had been apart of for, I'd guess, three years maybe. I had posted probably a sum of over a thousand(s) of comments, replies, and my own posts.

 

I had started to share The Catch's articles in the group to gain a following. Not only was I nearly made fun of for even thinking of being a baseball writer in a "flooded market" or for thinking of charging a minuscule membership fee of $1 for a full year weeks prior, but my most recent post was slammed publicly by an apparent admin (I had never seen him admin anything in the group).

 

I was scathingly told I was using pictures illegally - and I don't argue that he was correct, now in hindsight. It just made no sense why he couldn't have just privately messaged me. I was clearly in the startup phase of my website - still am obviously.

 

I simply said, "a private message would have sufficed" - or something to that effect. Only then, was I messaged privately. I tried to have a conversation with this person and he elected to impose some sort of god-complex, as if unaware that he had just trampled all over my article. At any response, I was replied to with things such as, "watch it, kid" or, "conversation over". I was told, "You knew you were stealing these photos".

 

If I knew I was "stealing" photos, I wouldn't be sharing my website on social media. Do you think I wouldn't know that there are writers out there, especially in Facebook groups with thousands of members? What's worse is this person writes for a sports website. If there was ever a time you could have shared your knowledge or didn't assume the worst of people, it was right then. But you chose the route that many people do.

 

Yes, I'll live and survive without the Facebook group - it's just the principle. There were definitely some toxic people there anyway. I could look at the three years I spent there as a building block for The Catch. I surely learned a few things from the analysts that stop by from time-to-time, as well as gained a good group of friends for my fantasy baseball league.



But if it appears to anyone out there that I am deflecting from "stealing photos", I am not. Pictures are 10% of my content here and are only visual aids. I didn't think a player simply holding a baseball bat was an issue as long as I sourced to the photograph, as that is how it is done on other blogging platforms I have been a part of. That is my mistake. It's not as if I have profited tenfold from this. I have one financial endorser and I know him personally - and we're, what, 5-6 articles into our tenure here at The Catch?

So, for now, there probably won't be any pictures of your favorite players. Maybe in the coming months or weeks when I have more time I can allocate towards articles, I will start to reach out to sources for permission or have a better feel for finding the right photos. Unlike most of the sporting news sources you see, this isn't my full-time job (unfortunately).

You will see that all pictures have been removed from previous posts and pages - and I've chosen a photograph from about 7 years ago (near Busch Stadium) as our new post picture. This could change if I find or take a better picture - it was just one that I found in my collection. I hope it doesn't give the impression I am an alcoholic or anything like that. Like I said, it was just a random photograph.

If you're a die-hard fan of The Catch and have artistic ability, you're more than welcome to submit your drawings of a logo/players/anything and maybe we could use it in some way.

If anyone out there truly believed I had any ill intent in using the photos that I did, you simply don't know me nor understand what this game has meant and done for me in my life. And if I didn't hurt my arm years ago, I'd like to believe this is a game I could be playing somewhere professionally, if even just somewhere like Single-A ball.

Anyway, I should have a new post out soon and we will continue with the theme of Heroes. We will talk about injuries and also cover some stand-out statistics. As always, thank you for reading.

HUGE Thanks to Our Supporters:

Legendary Players:

Brian Jeffcoat

Rookies:

Barry Lawlor

Thank you both so much!

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